RWBY VS the Merc with the Mouth
by Coupledyeti6
Summary: Hey, Deadpool here, and I just want to tell you to read this totally kickass story, starring yours truly. I commissioned Mr. Yeti here to write this story 'You tied me to a chair, you dick' As I said, I commissioned Mr. Yeti to write this story, and you better frikkin read it, or no fish tacos for you!


Hello people, I am here to upload this probably one off story. I didn't upload the next chapter to my Doctor Who/ RWBY X-over, so that I could write this. This will probably be a one off, but if I get a lot of positive feed back, I'll be more than willing to continue this. I also want to thank everybody who read my Doctor Who/ RWBY crossover, because I just passed four hundred views which is crazy. I hope that you enjoy, please feel free to review if you find something wrong about this, and if you have any questions or requests, you can PM me. Take Care

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"There are two things that I love more than money." The red suited man said, "Chimichangas, and . . ." his gaze went down towards the blonde haired girls, bazookas as he would say, "and those puppies." Even though she couldn't see his face, Yang knew that he had the largest and dumbest grin on his face. "But unfortunately, I have specific orders to keep my hands off, at least until your friends show up." Yang knew that her team would cut the man's hands off if he even tried.

"I hope you know that you are going to die." She spat into the man's masked face, "When the rest of my team gets here, you are screwed." She was going to get the first hit on him, and luckily, that won't be so hard. He hadn't taken off her gauntlets, thinking that the knife he found on her was all she had. "Well, if you are going to keep me hostage, you should at least tell me your name."

"Well, I am the fearless, dangerous, and charming might I add . . ." Yang rolled her eyes at that last comment, "Deadpool!" The man just stood there with his fists on his hips, as though there were some sort of banner behind him, trying to make himself look cool and important. All Yang saw was a dirty concrete wall and a rusty pipe.

"A complete dumbass is more like it." Yang mumbled. "Let's just hope that I pull my punches, for your sake." He was so dead.

"You think you can take me? You have no clue . . ." He was interrupted by a guard that went flying through the wall of the room, smashing against the couch that Deadpool had set up to watch T.V. on. "Oh goodie! Your friends are here!" The man cheered as the three girls walked in. Ruby had Crescent Rose in its sniper rifle form, pointed directly at the man's head. Weiss had Myrtenaster ready with her fire dust equipped, and Blake had Gambol Shroud ready to decimate. "Oh, the Power Puff Girls!" the masked mercenary mocked, "What are you going to do? Teach me the magic of frie-" he was quickly interrupted by the sound of a shotgun blast, and the loss of half his brains.

"What a prick! The entire time I was here, he was staring at my 'puppies' and making sexual remarks that would make a hooker blush. And don't get me started on the gro-" She stopped as her teammates just stared behind her. "What?" She asked, confused at what they could be looking at.

"You little bitch." Yang froze as she heard his voice. "Do you have ANY clue how much that hurts?" She slowly turned to face the man. His face had completely come back, and she saw his scarred face, from the absence of the mask. She had no clue what to think. Then when she realized what was going on, she saw the forty-five 1911 pointed at her head. "Put your weapons down, or I blow her fucking brains out!" The girls did as they were told. He ordered Yang to do the same with her weapons, she hesitantly complied. "Good, now sit down." They all took a chair, and the mercenary tied them up, "accidentally" finding his face in Yang's bosom. "Now, you girls are going to sit her quietly, as I watch my cartoons. Tom and Jerry is on right now!" 'Was he serious?' The girls simultaneously thought as he picked up the teammates' weapons, and swiftly made his way to the couch, which had an unconscious guard leaned against it.

He seemed to take a particular interest to Ruby's weapon, examining it very carefully. The team's leader noticed this and quickly came up with a plan.

"Hey, whatever you do, don't press that black button above the safety." She glared at him, hoping he would take the bait. She was certain, not even him, could be stupid enough to fall for the trick, but she had to try.

"What do you take me for? A complete idiot?" Ruby looked down in despair as her plan seemingly failed. "You tried to trick me into believing that this button would harm me, but that my curiosity would get the best of me. But you knew that I would know this, so you accounted on it, hoping that you could use this as a distraction, but I know that I'm not going to let my eyes off of you, and I also know that you would have accounted on me to think that you though that I knew about this being a distraction, and that I would then press the button, thinking that nothing would happen, so I would press the button, which would then activate a fountain of candy. So do you know what that means? " Honestly, none of the girls could even begin to try and understand what he was saying. "It means that I am going to activate this button, and get my candy." He pressed the button, which then caused the rifle to switch to its scythe form, quickly knocking the man out cold.

"What an imbecile!" Weiss exclaimed as Ruby quickly got out of her bindings and helped the others out of theirs'. They all grabbed their weapons and tied the suited man to a chair, and swiftly left the building. Outside was a yellow and black car that had been decked out to go to ludicrous amounts of speed. When the teammates were about ten meters from the car, they heard from the window that led to the room that the girls were just captive in, a man yell.

"Take this you bitch!" It was the masked mercenary, holding a rocket launcher. He fired the rocket, completely obliterating Yang's car. He started cackling; little did he know that he made the biggest mistake of his life.

Yang's eyes turned into a fearsome red, her hair ablaze as she activated Ember Cecilia. She ran all the way up to the sixth floor of the building, refusing to obey the laws of gravity. When she reached the window she grabbed the man by the throat, and throwing him into the room.

All that the girls could here was the sound of concrete being smashed, what seemed like a little girl squealing, and their teammate screaming things such as: "I just put a twenty-grand investment into that car last week!" And "That car won me thirteen drag races!" While this was little more than just words to the man being completely pummeled, it did explain to the other members of the team why Yang left at eleven every Friday. Then they saw a red blur crash into the asphalt, creating a massive crater, and then they saw Yang jump out of the window, directly into the crater, smashing Deadpool's head into the ground repeatedly, until it was nothing but blood, but then quickly regenerated. Before Yang got to hit him one more time, he teleported away, only to reemerge with only his torso and head sticking out of the ground. Yang promptly kicked his head, with such force that it sent the head flying miles away.

Finally Yang calmed down, and saw her teammates just staring at her with shocked faces. "Hey, he had it coming." That is all the girls heard from Yang as she walked towards the street in the direction of the school. After a few more moments of recovering from what they had just seen, they hesitantly followed their teammate.

"Oh Mister Wilson, when will you learn?" The mercenary's employer asked, smirking as he picked up the body-less head. "You don't mess with a girl's toy."

"I almost got them, I swear. If it hadn't been for that blonde haired bimbo, I would have had them for you." The head stated, not fond of being carried this way.

"I'm sure you would've, so that's why I'm giving you another chance, but don't screw it up this time, or I will have someone, more willing to keep on track with the mission, not cartoons, understood?"

"Yeah, yeah, now hurry up and get my body so I can get to lunch. Its two dollar Tuesday for chimichangas at the Taco Bar!" With that final comment, Roman Torchwick carried the head to his airship and informed the pilot where they were going. Failure was not going to be tolerated anymore.


End file.
